Opening to solstice (from the Seasons Newsletter)

by | Nov 27, 2014 | Seasons Newsletter | 4 comments

Opening to solstice

Do you dread the approach of Xmas? — the pressures, demands, organising and trying to meet everyone’s needs? — or maybe facing loneliness and grief if you don’t have family or loved ones to share it with?

Xmas delivers such impossible expectations of merriment, excessive food and family togetherness that many of you will end up sitting amidst the debris of wrappings and chicken bones at the end of the day, feeling you have failed.

 

If this sounds like you, I want you to know something.

You are good enough, exactly as you are.

 

I remember back in the 70s, discovering the work of paediatrician Donald Winnicott. When he coined the term ‘the good enough mother’, and it eventually spread through women’s networks, mothers all over the western world breathed a collective sigh of relief. We finally slipped free from the straitjacket of guilt. We had been trying to be all things to all people. We were Mothers who Did Too Much, mothers who tried too hard, and mothers who always felt we were falling short. We were Mothers Who Ran with the Hyenas.

Until this phrase ‘the good enough mother’, which fell ‘like the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath’ —words penned by Shakespeare about the quality of mercy. When you remember that you are good enough, you are softened by mercy and blessed by compassion.

 

Some ideas for the approach to Xmas

So how do you end the year softened and blessed? Here are some ideas:

1. Drop Xmas. No, I don’t mean literally (although you could!). I’m talking metaphorically.

If Xmas has come to represent impossible expectations (including acting as if it’s winter), then summer solstice, the time of peak sun energy on December 22, represents nothing more to be done.

The sun has achieved its goal of rising to the zenith. And so have you. The year is done. At summer solstice, instead of piling on more demands, how about pausing to appreciate all that you have achieved over the year?

2. Pause now. Imagine you are dropping Xmas, with all its pressures, into the sea. Go ahead. Drop it and let it sink deep into the ocean. Drop those demands.

Now breathe. Breathe into spaciousness. Breathe into the expanded energy of summer solstice and let the sun smile blessings upon you. Take in the heart-warming message that you are good enough. Take in the quality of mercy.

3. Remember what you have already achieved this year. You have done so much; probably a lot more than you can even remember in this moment. Never mind. Just let it be, and feel gratitude for what you have done. Give thanks for who you are. You are enough.

 

Finding ease

Perhaps you will be able to ‘press pause’ on December 22 and celebrate solstice with a simple picnic, a walk on the beach, a ritual or an evening meal.

But even if you can’t, you don’t have to suffer on the Xmas treadmill. You can ease off, do one less thing, and step into the benevolent glow of solstice at any moment.

Blessings to you all, and may mercy and self-acceptance hold hands in your home and in your heart.


In summer, the song sings itself.—William Carlos Williams

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4 Comments

  1. minnie biggs

    Lovely idea dear Juliet, dropping Christmas.

    Like many of us I have been through a gamut over Christmas, from loving every moment of it to hating it, and so find this idea relaxing, and good to share with selected few, thanks!
    Having spent most of my life in appropriately northern snowy dark places, the whole business feels so terribly wrong in this hemisphere, and even wronger as people insist on replicating the heavy foods and reindeer horns. And suddenly the price of prawns escalates out of sight! Happy dropped Christmas! with love, Minnie

    Reply
    • Juliet Batten

      Minnie, from USA to Australia, you must have felt the contrast. So glad this newsletter made sense to you, & thanks for your comment.

      Reply
  2. Hannah Sinclair

    Thank you for this timely message Juliet! I have been starting to feel anxious about Christmas – for me I feel so strongly in my body that this is a time of winding down – while everyone is saying “let’s squeeze in a catch up before Christmas” – I just want to clear my calendar. So I have! It feels so great to say “no!” I am now going to set aside time on solstice to have a ritual and quiet time with an easy-to-prepare meal and that will help get me through the day itself 🙂 Thank you for reminding me to follow my path 🙂 Yours in peace and attunement with the seasons, Hannah

    Reply
    • Juliet Batten

      Hannah, thanks so much for this comment. It creates such a tension when the body is saying one thing and the party/drinks/catchup invitations come rolling in, & saying another. I try & do as little as possible in December. So glad that you are responding to the prompt and plan to expand into solstice. Have a peaceful ritual.

      Reply

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